I know they're compiling data because the OMCP model works and it's attracting positive attention. Once they compile enough evidence to support this model, the funding and governmental support might show up to establish more OMCPs or similar evidence-based programs. It could change the way prisons are run. I'm living in a time of change and I'm watching it happen!
Today some researchers from SDSU visited the program. At the end of the day's lessons they asked us some questions. They're compiling data on the OMCP and following guys who've been through it. This is exciting to me.
I know they're compiling data because the OMCP model works and it's attracting positive attention. Once they compile enough evidence to support this model, the funding and governmental support might show up to establish more OMCPs or similar evidence-based programs. It could change the way prisons are run. I'm living in a time of change and I'm watching it happen!
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Had another exceptional week of OMC training. Learned about psychopathology—that's a big word—also learned a lot about childhood trauma, PTSD, and PICS. PICS is Post-Incarceration Syndrome.
Today was a remarkable day. The training was exciting. I learned how to do an interview. The feedback I received was helpful in so many ways. Also developing deeper friendships with some of the other guys who are in the training program.
Woke up late. Rushed to make it to breakfast. Saw a surprise on my tray: right there was a thick slice of cold cantaloupe. It was perfectly ripe and juicy. The meal got even better when two guys at my table offered me their slices of cantaloupe too. I hadn't eaten cantaloupe in 22 years. Can't wait to tell my mom— she loves cantaloupe.
On Wednesday, my girlfriend said she was reading Hemingway's Classic, The Old Man and the Sea. It's the little novel that won him a Pulitzer Prize and the Nobel Prize for Literature. I decided to read it too so we could talk about it.
Finished reading it today. As impressive as the contest was between the old man and the marlin, followed by the harrowing fights between the old man the sharks, my favorite part of the novella was the devotion between the old fisherman and the little boy he'd taught to fish. That type of love is something special. I felt a lump in my throat and my eyes watered at the end. I know only four people who love me that much. My parents, my Grandma and my girlfriend. Now I'm reading Moyers on America, a book I'd seen in catalogs and almost bought on countless occassions. I remember watching Bill Moyers on NOW and feeling impressed by his view of America. I made a point every Friday to watch him on PBS. Moyers was the prophet and preacher of a brand of democracy that I trusted. He understood the need for the voices of the little people to speak up and guard our democracy. He spoke out against government corruption. His messages spoke to me.
For most of my life I have felt like one of the little people, a minority from a tough neighborhood. Bill Moyers spoke of a position that people like me should have in the political process. I wish that I had been listening. Instead I got infected by voices of criminal discontent. I know where my poor citizenry originated. What I like so much about Bill Moyers when he was alive was that he showed me how to think realistically and react productively to the things that are wrong within the system. I wish that my uncles had taught me how to think realistically and react productively to life's problems when I was young. If they had, my potential would have taken me much farther. Heck, in an alternate version I might have even run for office and been interviewed by Bill Moyers for what I was doing to improve my neighborhood. Went to my first Al-anon meting today. I wanted to join Al-anon so they could help me examine how being close to a relative who drank everyday and relatives who did drugs while I was young affected me. Those are things I never talked about much, because I was taught to keep things which happen I the family secret. Now that I am in actual therapy I want to go ahead and examine how all of the family secrets affected me. This idea makes my mom uncomfortable, but I told her that she need not fear that I will drag anyone else in our family into therapy with me. This is just for me. I need to see all the connections. If anyone else in the family wants to look into the past, they can do so when they're ready. No one needs to fear that I will force them to look into the past just because that is what I'm doing.
I feel so tired. Disappointment is draining my energy. Last week I turned in my white laundry to get cleaned and all my clothes came up missing. Today I went to Clothing Distribution to get my clothing and the laundry lady gave me the runaround. She told me to file a grievance against my building officer. At the end of the day, I still have no socks or towels. My grievance will take from two weeks to twelve months to be heard.
Discovered two guys in my dorm will be acting in a production of Macbeth. One of them told me that there are a few very small roles left. He noticed my interest and went on to say that if I were to take one of the roles I'd only have to memorize five lines. Then he went on to describe their practices as fun and invited me to come with him next week. I've never acted in a play before, so I'm excited at the prospect of doing something new.
A guest speaker came in to speak to us today, Jagada Chambers. His book is entitled Based on a True Story. It is about the period of his life from his arrest till the end of his trial. Upon examining everything that went wrong and the lessons he learned, he decided to share it with the world. His book is opening up doors for him to speak before crowds of at-risk youth. Someday I see myself doing exactly what he is doing.
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AuthorPaul Pommells has been an inmate of the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation for more than twenty years, and has learned much about himself, his fellow inmates, and where one can find the hope and power to change. Poetry Corner
Paul and other inmates & friends bare their souls in words here.
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