On June 13th I attended a one-day Saturday symposium called "Fathers, Sons & Fathering." It was organized by Dr. Kenya Williams, the principal of Solano Prison's Education Department, and held in the Solano Prison gym.
Dr. Williams used her juice (her influence) to get approval for a panel of four guest speakers to come into the prison and speak before the men. The panel consisted of Van Waller, Larry Bluford Jr., Deon Price, and Evelyn "The Heart Lady" Polk.

It was my first time attending a symposium in a prison. As I walked in I noticed that there were professional-looking programs laid on every chair. The programs gave me helpful information about each of the speakers. 

The first speaker was Van Waller. Van is a personal empowerment speaker, author, and certified pastoral counselor. His message to us was: "Don't stop trying. Keep planting seeds. Have faith. Faith is a resource that can open up other resources all around us."

Van was followed by Larry Bluford Jr. Larry, to my eyes, looked to be the hippest member of the panel. He was definitely the youngest. He stuck out. He had a muscular build and wore a stylish Kangol hat. A one-time prisoner himself, he knew how to relate. His story included how, after coming out of prison, he implemented his re-integration plan. He told us how, after serving five years in prison and missing out on a significant portion of his children's formative years, he rebuilt the relationship with them and later guided his family through a violent crisis that tested his rehabilitation. At that moment of testing, he said God spoke and told him to forgive, and teach his family to forgive. 

The incident, and Larry's response, did not go unnoticed in his community; it sparked a local anti-bullying movement. Larry's key message to us was: "Don't give up. It's not over. Prepare for the future and don't leave prison without a plan."

Larry was followed by Deon Price, who brought to the symposium humor as well as wisdom. Deon is a youth lifeskills coach, an author, comedian, the founder & host of of an online webshow "This Youth Generation," and columnist of "This Generation" which runs in several publications including the Los Angeles Sentinel. Deon's message was: "Learn not to allow negative elements to influence you but to make the necessary adjustments in life."

The final speaker and sole female panelist was Evelyn "The Heart Lady" Polk. From looking at the program, I found out she was something of a celebrity: along with being a LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist), Ms. E is founder of Talk To Me Counseling and director of For A Child's Heart Inc., a nonprofit which provides counseling for foster and fost-adopt youth and their caregivers. She is also the author of three books and the producer & host of two shows ("Visions For A Child's Heart," which airs on Public Access Television, and "Heart Talk with Ms. E" an internet radio talkshow). 

The Heart Lady brought spirituality and a woman's touch. I am glad she came and moreover I appreciate the fact that Solano Prison welcomed all of the motivational speakers. Looking around the gym during the event, I saw each of the speakers had an impact on the inmates. The next symposium is scheduled to happen in July and I will make every effort to attend that one as well.

I don't want to miss out on anything that could lift my spirit!

a guest post by Kevin C. Waters 

I'm writing this article because I believe there are a number of good men that can benefit from a change in perspective. This article is not about a quick fix or a "right" way to capture this elusive creature we call insight. It is simply a different way to look at it. 

As a lifer with nearly 25 years in the prison system, I have watched the release of lifers go from nil to upwards of ten to fifteen people a month. I've heard a number of theories [from fellow inmates] about why certain people get released: "It depends on what commissioners you have" or "They already know who they want to release," or my personal favorite, "Some guys are lucky!"

Those perspectives mainly come from the men (lifers) who are still incarcerated. In many of them the bitterness, resentment, and anger is so palpable you can feel it as soon as they enter a room. I suppose they believe they'll be able to hide those hostile feelings throughout the course of a three to five hour hearing.

However, if you talk to the men who have received a finding of suitability [for parole], I doubt they would agree that they were lucky or they didn't have to work for it. I believe it is disrespectful to even imply that a man who has looked at his life and exorcised his own demons is ...lucky!

Of course there are some who have put on academy-award-winning performances and acted their way out of prison. However, they are the exception to the rule. There are also those who have changed beyond measure but the circumstances of their case or their inability to embody their change while in the board room keeps them languishing within the confines of prison. They are also not in the majority. 

The majority of men who still find themselves in prison after 30, 40, or 50 years have a "perspective" that is keeping them not only from getting out of prison, but from getting healthy. If you believe there is a conspiracy against you, or you don't have to change because you have a "right" to be released, you are probably one of those people.

You would rather go into the Board of Prison Hearings (BPH) arguing about your legal position as opposed to your moral one. You make the hearing about everything but you! It is the equivalent of going into an interview for an entry level job at Walmart and telling the interviewers how Walmart should be doing things differently. When they ask you how you qualify, you tell them how they're supposed to hire people from your walk of life (which may actually be what their charter says). Unfortunately, I don't think that approach will get you a job at Walmart. It also isn't going to get you out of prison.

As concerned citizens (which the commissioners are) they want to know that you (a person who has been convicted of a violent crime) understand why you committed your crime and why you won't do it again. It's going to take more than you saying "I understand what I did was wrong and I won't do it again. Plus I got 30 years in."

If what you have read so far has upset you or disgusted you and prompted you to want to tear this article up, I say... excellent! It means that it has touched a sore spot within you. The fact that you're still reading it shows that you are willing to take a look at that. Who knows, by the time you get to the end you may even be willing to change a few of the perspectives you have about how to approach the board.

In all actuality, this is bigger than the board. Gaining insight into your life will help you heal and become a healthier person. Most people in prison at one time or another have been victims. I say this not to justify any illegal or violent behavior, only as a statement of fact. That fact is one of the hardest things for us to admit. No one wants to be seen, or thought of, as a victim. It is a prison death sentence.

However, the reality of our situations are undeniable. Some of us have been victims of robbery, theft, assault, or for many, child abuse (physical, emotional or sexual). These are very difficult things for most men to talk about. 
"Well, my dad beat me with a water hose and smacked me in the face all the time, but it was because I was messing up in school. All dads did that back then. It's how they kept their kids in line." I guess you sitting in prison is a perfect testimony of how well that worked.

Our normalization of these types of events has led us to believe that the abuse had nothing to do with the choices we made. "Actually, that wasn't really abuse." Yet for some reason, you hate police or any other type of authority figure. "That's because all of them are no good!" I hate to break it to you, your current actions and/or feelings are being controlled by unresolved issues from your past.

Or let's say you had sex with your older brother's girlfriend, who was eighteen years old, and you were twelve years old. "She did that because she thought I was the man," with your brand new Jordans on that your mama bought you. Yet you currently have a problem trusting women and you've been a womanizer all your life. Why?

It is our lack of understanding (insight) into the contributing factors (not causative because nothing caused us to murder, kidnap, etc. Saying contributing factors takes away the impression of blaming) of our crimes that keeps us in prison, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Everything that has ever happened in our lives contributed to the decisions we've made, especially on the tragic day of our commitment offense.

When we go into the board room the commissioners are looking at a snapshot of our lives. Our crime is one frame in a series of frames that tell a story. Think back to the old picture frame films (on a movie reel). Imagine the hundreds of still frames that had to be strung together and sped up to create a story. The board has ONE frame and they're trying to make sense of the story.

Essentially, what many of us have done is cut out the pieces of the reel that we don't want them to see. We believe that we can still make sense of the story. We did this because years ago the atmosphere of the BPH was hostile and they would use any evidence they could find to deny us. So we were conditioned to tell half-truths or outright lies.

Fast forward to the post-Lawrence era and now the BPH is trying to make sense of the story to find reasons why they can let us go. But for many, "I've been telling this same story the same way for fifteen years. I can't change it now. They'll crucify me!"

Everyone's situation is different and I can't tell you how to pursue your specific situation. However, there's a novel idea that is getting lifers out of prison and it's called... honesty. Not just honesty, but an understanding of your checkered past. This could cost you a five-year denial (even though it can show a court that you've finally found that elusive insight creature). In contrast, sticking to the same story, that doesn't make any sense, may keep you in prison for the rest of your life.

The purpose of this article is not to get you to change your story. It is to give you a different perspective on your life and how your past has affected you and continues to affect you. Maybe you've been lying to yourself and others for so long that the truth is as much a lie as the lie was when you first began to tell it.

As we move forward into what this insight thing really looks like, I just want to encourage you to think about your situation and how all of this applies to you. In the end you will have to decide whether your current course of action is helping you or hurting you, not just in the board, but in your life.

INSIGHT
What is insight? There are a number of attorneys who have outlined insight for lifers. I have personally read several edifying articles on insight that have helped me tremendously. In the end, it took real life scenarios to help me grasp the concept.

Notice I said "concept." Insight is a concept, which makes it very difficult to pin down. It is also subjective, which means that the person looking for it is the one responsible for defining it. The best way to describe it is by using an old adage, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Fortunately, there is a way to transcend personal bias when it comes to the insight we so desperately seek.

Imagine going into a Porsche dealership and talking to a salesperson about one particular car you'd like to purchase. 
  YOU: Hey buddy, I really like this car.
  SP: Oh yeah, this is one of the best models.
  YOU: Tell me a little about it.
  SP: This is a 2015 Porsche 911, black on black, with leather interior...
  YOU: Alright, give me some insight into the speed. I like speed.
  SP: Oh, it's fast. The speedo on the dash goes up to 180mph, see? It's a 5-speed variable-shift transmission too.
  YOU: What else makes it fast?
  SP: Well... it has power steering and all-digital dash display...
  YOU: Okay, but I want to know more about the speed.
  SP: Yeah, Porsches are one of the fastest cars!
  YOU: I get that, but I need to know what makes it fast.
  SP: It's built low to the ground, with aerodynamic...
  YOU: Sir, I get all that. I'm into speed and I need to know why this is one of the fastest cars.
  SP: Um, like I said, it's aerodynamic and...
  YOU: Okay, thank you, have a nice day. (you're gone)

The salesperson couldn't give any detail about the most important part of the vehicle: the ENGINE! Horsepower, cylinders, fuel injection, turbocharging, torque, etc. This is how many of us are when it comes to our own lives. We can talk about the paint and the rims but we can't talk about the engine. The sad thing is, many of us don't know what drives us.

As a certified counselor and mentor I talk to lifers every day. We discuss relapse prevention plans, insight letters, and "causative factors" (the BPH buzz line). Many guys describe situations to me by saying, "I just got angry and..." How many of you know that anger is a secondary emotion? It is normally used to avoid the root emotions of fear, pain, guilt, shame, or other base emotion. So if anger is a part of your explanation for a particular incident, you haven't gotten to the root of the problem. You're still talking about the upholstery.

Although insight is not a direct science, I am going to outline a map that can assist you in understanding any event that has ever happened in your life. Remember, this is not about "beating the board." It is about gaining an understanding of how your engine works.

[just below here] you will see a diagram. On the right-hand side of the diagram is a tree. Inside of the tree is the word BEHAVIOR. This could be your commitment offense, a CDC115 (disciplinary action), or any other outward behavior that has manifested in your adult life.

Beneath the tree, as we begin to look beneath the surface, there are a range of emotions that are attached to the roots of the tree. The emotions are the drivers of our behavior, our engine. When something happens in our lives that evokes one of these emotions, our outward behavior is an attempt to avoid experiencing those emotions.

Subsequently, those emotions are attached to and driven by beliefs & past experiences (more of our engine). These beliefs and past experiences have shaped and molded how we will act and react in our everyday lives. Our beliefs act as a compass and with this compass, which sits on our past experiences, we respond to our environment accordingly.

There are a number of psychological theories that I can refer to in an attempt to validate what I'm presenting to you. Instead I will give you a brief analogy to show you how it works in real life. Let's take a trip with my young friend Bobby.
Bobby is a twelve-year-old little boy who is growing up in a violent household with three older brothers, 16, 18, and 24 years old. Bobby's dad beats him, and his three older brothers bully him all the time. He is afraid of both his dad and his brothers.

As Bobby gets older he notices how his 16- and 18-year-old brothers fight back against their oldest brother. This causes the oldest brother to stop abusing them most of the time, especially if they get extremely physical. Bobby also watches his oldest brother stand up to his dad, and witnesses his oldest brother punch his dad back. Although this caused the oldest brother to get kicked out of the house, his dad never raised a hand to his oldest brother again. Bobby tells himself "I'm never going to let people walk all over me and disrespect me" (belief).

Fast forward twenty years. Bobby is an adult now and finds himself playing basketball with a bunch of guys. One guy, who happens to be bigger than Bobby, calls him "soft" and walks up in his face. For a split second Bobby feels afraid (just like when he was a little boy) but before he could fully experience that fear, his belief kicked in to help him avoid the feeling.  Immediately Bobby punches the guy in the face and they begin to fight.

Can you explain why Bobby punched the guy in the face? If you can explain this, you are way ahead of the game. I'll give my explanation in a moment.

COMMUNICATION
This takes us to the left side of the diagram. As you will note, there are three different levels of communication that coincide with the behavior, feelings, and beliefs we experience in any given situation. We'll use Bobby's scenario to illustrate the three levels of communication.

A Level I communication would sound a little bit like this: "The guy disrespected me so I punched him in the mouth. We started wrestling and the police came over and pepper-sprayed us." This is a very superficial explanation of what took place.

The problem for many of us is that we have been conditioned to have these types of conversations. Most prison conversations revolve around the specific behavior/activity that is taking place. Whether we're having a discussion about a fight on the yard or what was on TV the night before, it's the same. The conversations we have are generally superficial (he did this, she did that, dude said this and she said that).

In order to have a Level II conversation we must be able to identify the feelings driving the behavior. Many of us face an emotional hurdle and we can't get over it. Not just for men in prison, but for men period. We don't like to talk about our emotions and many of us don't understand what emotions we are feeling. If it isn't anger, happiness, or sadness, it becomes indescribable.

In a Level III conversation we need to be able to talk about what happened physically, what the emotions were behind the action, as well as the past experiences that created the beliefs behind the feelings/behavior. If it sounds complicated it may be because you're over-thinking it.

Here's a sample of the three levels of communication using Bobby:
Level I
  BPH: Mr. Jones, you received a 115 for fighting on the basketball court. What was that about?
  BOBBY: I was playing basketball and this guy disrespected me so I punched him. We started to fight and the police came and broke it up. I know I was wrong.

Bobby gave a superficial explanation of the actual incident. They have the 115 so they already know the blow-by-blow. That is not what they're asking about. The question is about your engine.
Level II
  BPH: Mr. Jones, you received a 115 for fighting on the basketball court. What was that about?
  BOBBY: I was playing basketball and this guy called me "soft." At the time I felt disrespected. However, when I really thought about it I realized that I was acting out of fear. I was afraid of what the people standing around would think if I didn't do anything. Plus the guy was bigger than me and I was afraid if I let him hit me first I'd be in trouble.

In this explanation we can see that Bobby understands his emotions. He understands peer pressure and the type of things that drive his behavior. He also has a connection to his feelings.

Level III
  BPH: Mr. Jones, you received a 115 for fighting on the basketball court. What was that about?
  BOBBY: I was playing basketball and this guy called me "soft." At the time I felt disrespected. However, when I really thought about it I realized that I was acting out of fear. I was afraid of what the people standing around would think if I didn't do anything. Plus the guy was bigger than me and I was afraid if I let him hit me first I'd be in trouble. I also realize that I allowed my past experiences of being bullied and abused to cause me to adopt irrational beliefs: I told myself that I would never allow anyone else to bully or abuse me ever again, even if it meant hurting someone. I was still operating out of my old belief system at the time of the incident.


It is clear in the Level III conversation that Bobby knows his engine. He talked about the behavior, the feelings that led to the behavior, and the past experiences that forged his irrational beliefs. It is this level of communication that will transcend the subjective view of anyone we explain our lives to.

When you can take every CDC115, every outburst, every negative behavior (including your commitment offense), and map it out using this outline, you will put yourself in an ideal position to gain freedom. Not just from prison but from all of the trauma that still controls your life.

As you look at your commitment offense and your prior board hearings, read the transcripts to see if you were articulating all three levels of communication. Also, does it take you ten minutes to make your point? If you read the Level III example out lout you'll see that it only takes a couple of minutes to explain. It goes from Level I to Level III concisely and quickly. If they want to know more, they'll ask.

The key is not to map it out to memorize it so we can recite it verbatim to the board. We map it out so we can get an understanding of our lives, and since it is our lives we will be able to connect with it.

The feelings you've hidden from our normalized for so long will begin to come back to you. It will be uncomfortable and maybe painful. Well, growing and healing is painful. However, it will cause the bitterness to dissolve when you realize that you are the reason for everything. You are the reason you are still here. When people live with toxic trauma they usually become toxic. They walk into a room and immediately the vibe changes. It doesn't matter if it is the dayroom or the board room. Their presence is undeniably wretched. 

Is that you?

In closing, I want you to think about this. Imagine if a wannabe gangster came into a circle of you and your buddies. He begins to talk about where he did time and how he ran with all of these "killers." Upon questioning him you see that he doesn't have details about the prisons he claims to have done time in. He doesn't remember different characteristics of the killers he says are his boys. However, he looks the part (tattoos, tough talk, scowl on his face).

How long do you think it would take you and your buddies to figure out that he was a fake? Twenty minutes, forty minutes, maybe two hours tops? Why do you think you would be able to figure him out? More than likely it is because you've been or have lived around what he is trying to portray.

So here you go into the BPH. You still have some criminal ways. Your beliefs really haven't changed that much but you don't act on them the way you used to. You still believe the police (or "the pigs") are out to get you. You still believe some people deserve to be beat up or stabbed to teach them a lesson, but you're not going to risk getting a CDC115. By the way, these are all anti-social beliefs.

How long do you think it will take for a couple of pro-social people (who have been that way all their lives) to sniff you out? One hour, two hours, maybe three? It is the exact same thing you can do to a phony. If you're pretending to be a reformed criminal, they will probably sniff you out.

My hope is that instead of practicing mock questions and memorizing material from groups, you will analyze your belief system. Gain an understanding of your life, and the questions put before you won't matter, It is impossible to get out (physically, emotionally, or spiritually) without going in. True change comes from within. Use this opportunity to practice introspection and you'll get all the insight you need.

Good luck on your journey.

 Kelon Williams, a brother I am getting to know, handed me a book and told me he had been published in it. The title read, Stories of Faith and Courage from Prison. Upon proudly handing me the book, Kelon pointed to the pages he had written. Then he walked off and gave me time to read. Naturally, the first thing I read from the book was Kelon's contribution to it.

Kelon's story is of the courage his faith gave him to stand in defense of a fellow Christian he witnessed being persecuted by a bully in prison. The situation could have turned out bad, but it didn't, and by God's grace and providence, Kelon eventually helped that bully come to Christ.

Thoroughly impressed, I closed the book and looked for Kelon so I could ask him questions. He was nowhere around, so with time on my hands I reopened the book and read a few more stories. What I quickly discovered is that the book is hard to put down! Page after page, it's filled with compelling and inspirational life stories. In all, it is a collection of 365 vivid personal anecdotes, one for each day of the year. Some of the stories are written by prisoners or people who do volunteer work inside of prisons, and some by ex-prisoners or the people who love them. Each one is a powerful testimony in its own way.

Each story is hard to forget. Like the story of Kim Humphrey, imprisoned and tortured in Vietnam, and the story of her husband Ron Humphrey, a Vietnam vet who was imprisoned in America after abusing official influence in an effort to free his wife. Neither of the Humphreys are people you'd think of as criminal, so it is easy to feel compassion for their plight.

I followed that up by reading the story of Kim Rojas, the wife of a prisoner with HIV who'd found Christ, then the story of Mike Ownby, who transitioned from being a convict to a deacon after his release. The last story I read was of Linda Kesterson, a longsuffering mother whose love couldn't save her son, but whose answered prayers did. These stories I mentioned are just a few.

I highly recommend this book. No one who reads Storeis of Faith and Courage from Prison will come away from it without feeling uplifted and looking at prisons and prisoners differently. Many who read it might even decide they want to volunteer in a prison or perhaps financially support a prison ministry that they've heard of. (I suggest several excellent ones at the bottom of THIS page of my site.) The book shows that they work.

 On Wednesday March 12, a guest speaker came in to speak to the men enrolled in Solano's Long Term Offender Program. His name was Dejuan Lewis, and he works for a Parole Service Center (PSC).

PSCs provide a broad range of services for men who are re-entering society from prison. The PSC Dejuan works for is GEO ReEntry, in San Francisco. In addition to providing transitional housing, it offers onsite AA and NA groups, as well as onsite classes for Parenting Skills, Substance Abuse, Anger Management, Employment Readiness, and Job Search.

GEO also boasts of having a staff that wants to help each client and that understands the issues faced by men on parole. Those words spoke to Dejuan's captive audience, some of whom will be on parole within the coming months. Dejuan took deliberate care to speak about how successful the ex-lifers were who paroled to GEO. He put a human face to the program that had helped them, and it reassured us.

The government funds allocated to GEO and other PSCs are part of a statewide shift to accommodate prisoners slated to return back to the world. This, more than anything else, is solid evidence that California is finally putting mechanisms in place to safely reduce the prison population. Admittedly, I am impressed, but not completely convinced that the state is doing enough. I am waiting for state legislators to pass measures providing judicial or administrative reviews for first-term offenders and first-term lifers.

Kevin Waters is a certified drug and alcohol counselor and a mentor in the much-talked-about Long Term Offender Pilot Program (LTOPP). That's just the tip of the iceberg of his résumé. Kevin has done a lot of amazing things in prison and helped thousands of people. 

I met Kevin in September of 2006, soon after coming to the California Men's Colony. At that time Kevin and a group of positive black men were meeting in the bleachers every Saturday and calling it the Kwanzaa Workshop. 

It was immediately obvious to me that Kevin had a sharp mind and a good spirit. We became friends. A year later we became cellmates and true spiritual brothers. Over the course of the two years we shared a cell we made it a place for enrichment and learned a lot from each other.

At that time Kevin was working as a clerk and lead facilitator for the Inmate Peer Education Program (IPEP). It offered monthly workshops on HIV and Hepatitis Awareness Training. When those weren't being held, the IPEP office was often used to train inmates taking part in the CMC Hospice Program. 

Part of the hospice training is comprised of watching videos and reading books from various cultural perspectives which helps the men be more sensitive and supportive to their clients as they keep them company during their last hours of life. After the hospice volunteers finish their regular training sessions, they return to the IPEP library whatever books they used for their training. Kevin had access to that IPEP library. As an avid reader, he read a lot of them and shared with me everything he found profound about them.

Meanwhile, I was working in a much less prestigious job: in the dining hall, serving food. The good thing about that job was they only called me in to serve during mealtimes, which turned out to be just three hours a day. That gave me ample free time to focus on my real goals. At the time I was enrolled in Ashworth University, beginning to write Redemption Story, and was avidly reading self-help books.

Like Kevin, I'm the type of guy who likes to share profound truths when I find them. Putting us both in the same cell was providential, because it helped both of our development. We squeezed a lot out of the time, by exposing each other to the best of whatever we were reading, and through the conversations about our lives which sprang out of the new insights we were learning.

In prison, when ideal growth conditions are set up like that, you know they won't last forever so you've got to make the most of it. Fortunately we did.

The two years passed quickly. At the end of it, Kevin got transferred to another prison closer to LA. I didn't think that I would see him again in prison. I was pleasantly surprised when he returned to CMC four years later as a certified drug and alcohol counselor and began putting his skills to use for the LTOPP.

With LTOPP, Kevin's full-time job is helping lifers who've been denied parole to find insight. It's my pleasure to be able to share some of his insights with you. Check out his first guest post just a month ago, and keep an eye out for more guest posts from him in the future.

a guest post by Kevin C. Waters

As I look at this man standing before me, I examine him carefully. He stares back at me and without a word being spoken I already know what he wants... forgiveness. After all of the pain and heartache he has wrought in my life, he wants to be forgiven.

I can tell by the frown lines on his forehead that he is an angry man. The not-so-visible scar on his right brow speaks to the violent lifestyle he chose to live. My heart begins to quicken as I anticipate his request. He wants to tell his story. He wants to explain why or how he has become the man I despise. I don't want to hear some "poor me" diatribe about a broken home or abusive childhood. We all have choices and he chose to ruin my life.

Looking at the contours of his face I can see that he is not the young ruthless kid that I remember. Amazingly his eyes seem softer than I recall. I suppose they should be after twenty years in prison. Maybe he got victimized the way he victimized me decades ago. Serves him right.

Well, I guess it couldn't hurt if I let him "explain" why he chose to make my life a living hell. 
He begins with a simple apology, "I'm sorry."

I hope he doesn't think that is going to make it all better. 

I must admit, though, it felt sincere. 

He follows the apology with a story about how he grew up. Surprisingly, both parents were in the home, yet he still felt alone. I don't get that. How could he feel alone in a house full of love, with siblings?

He goes on to explain how when he was nine years old his little sister was born. He was no longer the baby and no longer got all the attention. Why he began to feel abandoned because of that is beyond me. I think it was an excuse, because within a couple of years he said he became infatuated with gangs.
I knew it! He's a gang member. That explains everything.

However, it doesn't explain why he pulled me into his misery. The tale of a stable but rocky childhood doesn't move me. I see more bad choices than faulty parenting. Many kids don't even have both parents and they still do the right thing. This man chose to turn away from his family instead of lean on them for support. How dare he complain about that!

As he talks about his teenage years I can see how his unhealthy choices were reinforced. I start to empathize with him because at thirteen years old he witnessed his first act of brutality on a fellow gang member for "breaking the code." He learned rather quickly that loyalty was paramount.
But loyalty to what? Right then and there he had a choice. He could have turned back and ran to the loving arms of his parents, but he didn't. 

When he spoke of being kicked out of school behind his newly acquired beliefs it was obvious to me that he was seeking attention. The attention he lost when his little sister was born. He did the same thing when he accidentally hit his head on the coffee table, playing in front of his parents. What were they thinking? The signs were so obvious. Maybe they were blinded by the quest to feed three kids and pay their bills. It happens.

While he talks about his spiral into corruption I can see the pain in his face. I can feel the inner turmoil he was experiencing. Tears roll down his face as he apologizes with his eyes. I try to hold onto the anger but it is getting more and more difficult.

He speaks about the fights and criminality that led him to prison. It must have been pretty rough on a teenager at the most dangerous prison in the state. Well, he made his own bed. Unfortunately, the mask he adopted in that environment imprinted him with permanent frown lines. A young boy hiding his fears behind a mask.

I stare at this man, aged, humbled, and apologetic. I don't have any words for him. I am still angry at him for ruining my life. But am I angry, or am I hurt?
He looks at me, almost intuitively reading my thoughts, and he says, "I created all of the destruction in my life because I was scared and hurt."
Wow, does he feel my pain? That's not possible, because the only thing I'm displaying is anger.

I look at him intently, struck by his honesty and humility. I truly believe he gets it.
​Teary-eyed I manage to smile and I do something I told myself I would never do: I tell him, "I forgive you." 
We stare at each other unblinking for what seems like an eternity. 
I take one last look at him, put the mirror down, and go to sleep.

This year I have a simple resolution.
When facing temptation
  I'll scratch underneath its surface
  to identify the unmet needs and the fear
  the particular forms that temptation is promising to relieve.
Then I'll hone my mind and visualize
  the future that would really satisfy me.
I'll call forth the forces that will make it possible
  and sacrifice my energy in that direction.
     —Paul Pommells

"Every temptation is an attempt by the devil to get us to live our lives independently of God."
     —Neil Anderson

In response to the flood of people who've asked us to package Redemption Story for teens and adolescents, we've done just that. Redemption Story: Small Group Edition will be coming out very soon. In making it, we formulated group discussion questions to follow each chapter.

The questions are designed to help students introspect and make it easier for them to discuss what they know about the sensitive subjects which overshadow the inner city and are even spreading into middle-class communities.

This reading-and-discussion format makes it safe for secretive at-risk youth to reveal what they know in the context of discussions centered around symbolic characters who struggle with some or all of their problems. The discussion questions broach sensitive topics such as:

• attitudes towards authority figures
• self-esteem
• self-image
• admitting mistakes
• ignoring help
• following the crowd
• the people we hurt
• starting over
• personal space
• being yourself
• selecting new friends
• qualities of a real friend
• handling rejection
• identifying helpful organizations
• searching for mentors
• handling criticism
• stereotypes
• holding on to your dream
• overcoming negativity
• avoiding self-destructive thinking and behavior
• focusing on & visualizing a goal
• regaining lost trust
• preparing for the future

It is impossible to predict how much students may want or need to talk about some questions, so moderators naturally have discretion to extend conversations on questions and even pose their own follow-up questions. The input gained from such participation is priceless because it can indicate to teachers, counselors, or group leaders how best to  help the student.

We hope this book becomes a valuable tool in the hands of every concerned adult who uses it.

"Let's not be hasty" is one of the first tenets of wisdom, but America in general and California in particular is trampling that tenet as it herds offenders and alleged offenders into jails and prisons as hastily as possible. Wisdom, as well as justice, is crushed in the stampede– a stampede supposedly driven by justice and tough-minded wisdom.

Building Violence was one of the first scholarly books to document the effects and speak to the causes of the country's rush, since the 1980s, to incarcerate larger portions of our population. It addressed mass incarceration before it became a popular term.

Many of the contributors to Building Violence are esteemed professionals in the correctional field or long-term advocates of reform. They not only make excellent points, but they back their articles up with references. I highly recommend the thought-provoking articles by Colleen McLaughlin, Kenneth L. McGinnis, Juan Williams and Tony Whitehead.

For a more recent treatment of the issue of mass incarceration read Michelle Alexander's New York Times bestseller The New Jim Crow. She documents the link between the War on Drugs and bad government policy to the boom in prison construction. Some of her revelations are shocking. Who knew that the War on Drugs was actually formally declared before the traffic of cocaine into the United States became a major problem? And how many people knew that trusted government officials in the CIA turned a blind eye as their informants, working for the Nicaraguan Contra rebels, funneled millions of tons of cocaine into this country in order to fund their war efforts back in Nicaragua? Somehow those details seem to have escaped modern history books, but Ms. Alexander supports them with indisputable references. These things did happen and they should make us look with skepticism at both the War on Drugs and the country's rush to incarcerate masses of our population.

My staunch conservative readers might not be ready to read The New Jim Crow. For them, I recommend the new proposal about mass incarceration from the Brennan Center for Justice. 

Mass incarceration is indeed recognized as a problem on both sides of the political aisle, and enough common ground exists for our State and Federal legislatures to make immediate progress toward solving it... if only more people demanded that sort of change... 

I just posted a core article on my Issues page about Mass Incarceration. Here are my seven recommendations in brief:

1. Coin the term “Mass Rehabilitation” and talk about it in substantial ways, to clarify the idea in people’s minds and make it easier for people to refer to the concept. 

2. Create a CDCR mission statement committing it to the goal of rehabilitating every offender, and implementing leadership policies that hold CDCR management and employees accountable to, and rewarded by, upholding and pursuing that mission statement. 

3. Re-examine all CDCR policies to formally identify the ones that hinder rehabilitative activities and efforts.

4. Recruit “poster children for rehabilitation" from the current prison population in California. Make them the public face of Mass Rehabilitation and learn from their journeys of transformation. Apply those insights to CDCR policies and future rehabilitation initiatives.

5. Award expanded opportunities to earn good-conduct credits (now called “good-time” credits) to every inmate exhibiting good behavior. 

6. Establish a sentencing commission to review and revise California’s harshest criminal sentences. 

7. Review the conduct file of every first-termer in prison after ten to fifteen years have elapsed, looking for evidence of rehabilitation. Act on that evidence when it is found: supervised work-release, early parole, or even pardon recommendation.

Questions? Comments? What do you think?