I stepped outside after 8:15pm to enjoy the last half hour of yard. I walked by myself and admired the night sky, felt the breeze against my face. Thought about what I would say at a psych hearing for the parole board. Thought about the public service work I want to to in Southern California, if I am released. I'd like to work with local sheriff's departments and community centers to share my testimony with at-risk youth.
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Last day of the year. Looking forward to next year's surprises!
Writing apology letters is hard. The task always seems to drain all of my energy away.
I have to do it. I have to honor my victims and acknowledge what I did to them. But it's not easy, because I'm ashamed of the young man I used to be. I had no excuse for being so dumb. Today I attended my OMCP graduation! About 80 family members came to see the event. My parents, grandma, and Uncle Cruz were in attendance. It had been two years since I last saw my grandma and a year since seeing my mom and uncle. My grandma kept crying— that made me emotional. Overall a lot of tears were shed.
I even saw some of the high-ranking prison staff shed quiet tears. It’s finally the week of graduation.
People are nervous. I am too. Getting closer to graduation and exam time. I’m kicking my studies up into a higher gear. Making flashcards and drilling myself. Proud of myself too.
I’m going to be alright when exam time comes. Today I saw 1 of 5 Defy videos on Interview Skills and 1 of 2 videos on Building Credit. Still think their materials are awesome. The lady who presents the information on credit-building could go toe-to-toe with Suze Orman.
Along with taking the quizzes which correspond to each video lesson, I also completed exercises which challenge students to think of how they will transfer the skills into the real world. The latter exercises, I believe, are the best part of the program. I enjoy completing them because when I do, I find it easy to slip into visualizing the future I want to manifest for myself. Defy’s Re-entry Course is awesome. It’s the best I’ve seen in prison. It sets the standard high. I am thankful that I am in the only prison in the State of California where Defy’s curriculum is currently available. I call that God’s favor!
At 6am I called Mom and sang her happy birthday (slightly off key), then we prayed.
After work, went to my Al-Anon group. Turned in all my lessons for Steps 1 & 2 of the Defy curriculum. They made a copy of everything and handed me a new workbook which has everything I need to complete the next two steps.
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AuthorPaul Pommells has been an inmate of the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation for more than twenty years, and has learned much about himself, his fellow inmates, and where one can find the hope and power to change. Poetry Corner
Paul and other inmates & friends bare their souls in words here.
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